Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Tips for successful marriage counseling

Given the big investment marriage counseling is, it makes sense to make the most of it. Here are some practical thoughts that will help you maximize your marriage counseling experience.

Don't under estimate the damage.
Your marriage didn't get where it's at in a day and it's not going to get back on track overnight. It's going to take time and work.

Don't over estimate the damage.
There is hope even for the most severely damaged relationship. It's normal to feel overwhelmed when you don't know how to make things better. Keep your heart and mind open. Let your counselor help you discover the path to healing you've been unable to find on your own.

Come ready to work.
Marriage counseling is hard work. Your counselor doesn't a magic wand that will fix your problems nor can he or she solve your problems for you. Your counselor can help you know what to do, but it's up to you to do it.

Take responsibility.
Nobody can work on your stuff but you. If you're not willing to make changes things probably aren't going to change, no matter how much counseling you receive or books you read.

Understand the power of one.
The truth is you can't change your spouse. Neither can your counselor. However, you can make changes in yourself that will influence your situation / relationships for the better. That your counselor can help you with.

Don't give up.
You can not be defeated if you do not quit. Listen, the saying is true "the night is darkest just before the dawn". Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better; this is normal. Expect things your counselor says to make you un-comfortable at first. Change isn't easy, but it's necessary for us to have the life we want.